Friendships

We will have contact with many people throughout the day, particularly if we live in an urban environment. First there are our neighbours, and then there are those we meet as we go about our daily routine - at work, school, university or our domestic tasks. With some of these we will become quite familiar because of the regular association we have with them. Our contact with them gives us the opportunity to demonstrate our discipleship and tell them of the great hope of salvation we have in Christ.

However there will also be challenges put before us. These people may invite us to activities that they enjoy. They may ask us to go to places where we know God’s ways are not upheld. This is where the disciple must be prepared to stand aside. The warning of the apostle James must be ever in his mind: “Know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God” (James 4:4).

Paul warned the Corinthians: “What fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you” (2 Corinthians 6:14–17).

Paul teaches that there is no way the disciple can become closely associated in friendship with those who are ignorant of God’s ways. He will of course be polite, showing kindness, and offering help to those he must be associated with, but will not become involved with them in their social life.

The close friends of the disciple of Christ will be fellow disciples. He will seek their company, knowing that they have a similar love for the things of God and a keen desire to please Him. Such friendships that develop between disciples will continue throughout their life and be a constant source of pleasure and comfort. Likewise the disciple who seeks to marry will choose for his or her life companion a fellow disciple, knowing that they will be united in their desire to serve God.

Marriage

The basis of marriage was established in the beginning when God brought Eve to Adam. God said: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24) This was restated by Jesus when he was asked if a man could put his wife away (that is, divorce her) for any reason. Jesus said: “Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:4–6). When disciples marry they do so, understanding that they are married for life.

When disciples of Christ prepare to marry they will carefully plan their life together as “heirs together of the grace of life” (1 Peter 3:7). They should realise at the outset that their happiness is based on a mutual love of God’s word and see the need to read the Bible together every day. They will pray together too, learning to appreciate daily that God is working in their marriage. If blessed with children, they will plan to bring them up in the ways of God and work together to that end. Their home will be a place of refuge from the world, where God is honoured. They will open their home, where possible, for fellow disciples to come and discuss the word of God and be refreshed. There will be many practical ways, too, in which they can demonstrate the love of Christ to their brethren. The apostles give advice on how we should extend ourselves for others (for example, Romans 12:9–21; James 1:22–27; 2:14–17).

However some may come to a knowledge of the Gospel after they have married. What are they to do? This also happened in the days of the apostles and their guidance to them was that these disciples must remain faithful to their partners and endeavour to show them, both by their example and word, the wonderful hope they held. Paul gives guidance on this in 1 Corinthians 7:12–16, where he concludes: “For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?”. What great joy there will be if the partner also comes to accept the Gospel through the quiet example of the disciple of Christ.

Adapted from “The Exploring the Bible Course” by David Evans